Kindness,
an extensive term which has no bounds or limits to be expressed. It lies deep
in our hearts, but often we forget to use it at an appropriate time. Kindness
reflect because of being considerate and generous towards others. It breaks the
law of discrimination and violence, but have we ever reflected
upon how
important kindness is? Have we ever thought that being kindness can influence
the world largely? Kindness is not just a term, It is an attribute of Allah and
we need to focus on it with much concern. So let's see what does Quran say
about the attribute of Kindness.
"Allah
is not kind to him who is not kind to people." (Bukhari, Muslim)
How does
Quran explain about Kindness?
Allah
hasn't mentioned about Kindness generally, but specifically to whom we should
bekind with.
1. Be
kind to your parents:
There's
nothing more precious in this world than our parents. They have raised and
nurtured us by showering their immense love. They have spent restless days and
sleepless nights for us. In short, they have dedicated three quarter of their
lives for us. That's why Islam has emphasised a lot to be kind and respect to
our parents. The first and foremost thing they expect from us is nothing, but
kindness.
"Your
Lord has ordained that you must not worship anything other than Him and that
you must be kind to your parents. If either or both of your parents should
become advanced in age, do not express to them words which show your slightest
disappointment. Never yell at them but always speak to them with
kindness." (17:23)
2. Be
kind to your kith and kins:
Family
and relations are important. They indirectly play a major part in our lives.
Although we aren't completely depending on them, we will be incomplete if we
are without them. Having them around us bring peace to our hearts. That's why
Islam has insisted to keep our family ties strong; and to make it more strong,
we should always be kind with them.
"Allah
commands (people) to maintain justice, kindness, and proper relations with
their relatives. He forbids them to commit indecency, sin, and rebellion. Allah
gives you advice so that perhaps you will take heed." (16:90)
3. Be
kind to your spouse:
Why our
spouses are defined as our better half? Because they always stand beside us and
involve together with us. No matter whatever happens, they mostly try their
best to provide all what we want. They act as a shield and follow as a shadow,
but can you discover what they expect from us mostly? Do they expect money from
us? or Do they expect us to serve delicious foods? No, In any situation, what
they expect from us is kindness. Even if you have provided all what they want,
still they would feel empty within them if you haven't showed your exact
kindness.
"And
of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find
tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in
that are signs for a people who give thought." (30:21)
4. Be
kind to your Neighbours:
Neighbours
are more closer to us than our relatives. They are the people to whom we often
communicate with. If we are not good to our Neighbours, then we are not good to
our society too, cause a person's character is determined by the way he acts in
his surrounding. That's why Islam has encouraged to have a smooth relationship
with our Neighbours. To have a smooth relationship, the best way is to deal
with them kindly and if everyone start to act in this way, there will be no
destruction at all.
"Worship
God and consider no one equal to Him. Be kind to your parents, relatives,
orphans, the destitute, your near and distant neighbours, your companions,
wayfarers, and your slaves. God does not love the proud and boastful
ones," (4:36)
5. Be
kind to those who are in need:
Needy
people are mentally depressed, emotionally oppressed and physically suppressed.
They are in a state of not being able to fulfill their basic needs or they do
not possess enough materials to continue their living. So it is a must to treat
them kindly and provide them all we could.
"And
what will explain to you the path that is steep? It is: freeing the bondman; Or
the giving of food in a day of privation, To the orphan with claims of
relationship, Or to the indigent (down) in the dust. Then will he be of those
who believe, and enjoin patience, (constancy, and self-restraint), and enjoin
deeds of kindness and compassion." (90:12-17)
6. Be
kind to orphans:
Islam has
insisted to render services for orphans. They are not in a position to make
their living as they have lost their guardians. That's why Allah has commanded
to take care of their needs and to treat them with kindness.
"And
when [other] relatives and orphans and the needy are present at the [time of] division,
then provide for them [something] out of the estate and speak to them words of
appropriate kindness." (4:8)
7. Be
kind with pious believers:
Believers
are those who fear Allah and obey His commands by doing good and refraining
from evil. They follow the sunnah of Rasoolullah and act with humbleness. So it
is recommended to respect them and be with them kindly as they may be more
closer to Allah than us.
"and
be kind to your believing followers." (26:215)
8. Be
kind to Muslim converts:
Unlike
born Muslims, Muslim converts face a lot of struggles in their lives. They have
sacrificed their former life solely for the sake of Allah and they have lost
their families and friends because of entering Islam. They have nothing, but
spiritual support which assist them to lead their life. They expect nothing
from us, but kindness which will pave them a way to continue in the field of
Islam. So it is incumbent upon us to treat them kindly and help them to fulfil
their needs.
"The
well-to-do and the rich among you should not fail to give to relatives, the
destitute, and Emigrants for the cause of God. Be considerate and forgiving. Do
you not want God to forgive you? God is All-forgiving and All-merciful." (24:22)
9. Be
kind with Non-Muslims:
You may
wonder why on earth should we be kind with them. Well, Allah never shows his
mercy only to muslims and He never deviates the mankind into classes. It is we
who have got seperated into divisions by making a huge conflict. Islam always
encourages us to be in unity and to act fairly. The same way, we should be kind
to the non-muslims too as they are also a part of our community, and when we
show our best manners, it may instill hidayat into their hearts.
"Invite
(all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue
with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best,
who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance." (16:125)
10. Be
kind to your soul:
All in
all, the most important thing is our soul. If we haven't properly maintained
our soul, then there may be no way to paradise. If we have kept it well
maintained, then we will be the successful one in this world and in the
hereafter. So it is important to be kind to our souls by purifying it constantly
with dhikr, istighfar and salah.
"And
the soul and Him Who made it perfect, Then He inspired it to understand what is
right and wrong for it; he will indeed be successful who purifies it, And he
will indeed fail who corrupts it." (91:7-10)
How can
you reach the attribute of kindness?
1. Be
forgiving:
The more
you forgive, the more your heart will be instilled with peace. Forgiving others
will let you to have a good social status and there will no conflicts in your
mind. If you have this nature of forgiving others, then you have reached the
attribute of kindness.
And
whoever is patient and forgiving, these most surely are actions due to courage.
(42:43)
2. Don't
be severe and harsh-hearted:
If you
are severe and harsh-hearted when dealing with the society, you are much far
away from the attribute of kindness. You must be flexible and soft hearted so
that more people will come in search of you.
"So
by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had
been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about
you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the
matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves
those who rely [upon Him]." (3:159)
3.
Encourage people to do good and forbid them from doing evil:
You see a
wicked man and feel sorry for him. You go to him and enjoin him for good. You
see a man who is giving charity and you are happy for him. You go to him and
appreciate his work and encourage him to do more. This sort of a character
comes from nothing, but kindness!
"My
son, be steadfast in prayer. Make others do good. Prevent them from doing evil.
Be patient in hardship. Patience comes from faith and determination." (31:17)
4. Don't
be proud of yourself:
If you
are proud means, you are concerning only about you. It will be more appropriate
to define as selfishness. You will be distanced from the society and soon
you'll find yourself lonely. So shrug off your pride and walk along with
people. Move with them and accompany to help them. If you continue to do this,
you will surely attain the attribute of kindness.
"And
turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the
earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster." (31:18)
5. Avoid
shouting at people:
Some
people tend to shout at people even for a silly thing. This means they don't
understand the minds of people. They expect exactness which can never be
achieved. This will gradually fade away your good attitudes. Soon you will not
understand what kindness really meant to be. So avoid shouting at people, Talk
to them politely and try to understand them if something goes wrong. Practice
this for sometimes and you will feel how rays of kindness penetrate in your
mind.
"And
be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of
sounds is the voice of donkeys." (31:19)
6. Be
Thankful:
No matter
even if it is a futile thing, be thankful for what they have done. That is the
best attitude a man can have. We are closer to them until our works are done
and when it is over, we forget about them. Be thankful. If you aren't thankful,
you are not a kind person as you do not know the value of human beings.
"He
who does not thank people does not thank Allah." (Tirmidhi)
7. Be
calm:
Be calm
when dealing with people. If you are angry and disappointed by someone, do not
show it to others. They have nothing to do with what you are undergoing, and
they will be surprised to see your misbehaviour. This will make you more
irritated and you will fall into the trap of anxiety. You will be no kind
anymore, and you will have no idea of how to deal with people. So be calm in
whatever you do. This will make you less disturbed and you will deal with
issues of people easily. You will learn what really kindness means and it will
be no more a difficult task for you to show your kindness towards others.
"Allah's
messenger said, "Be calm, O' Aisha! Allah loves that, one should be kind
and lenient in all matters." (Bukhari)
8. Give
Gifts:
One of
the best way to achieve the attribue of kindness is by giving gifts. The more
you exchange gifts, the more you will feel the value of kindness and this will
gradually fade away the negative impressions you have on others.
"Give
gifts to one another, for gifts take away malice." (Mishkat)
9. Be
equitable:
Be equal
to everyone, no matter their class and status; If you treat everyone equally,
there will be no negativity surrounding you. You will always think only about
the good side of others. This sort of a feeling arises just because of kindness
and so you have reached it!
"Verily,
Allah loves those who deal with equity." (60:8)
10.
Control your anger:
Anger is
the outburst of an emotion and if you have a habit of controlling your anger,
then you have already reached the attribute of kindness. You are already
possessing a feeling that you don't want to hurt others just because of your
anger. You will automatically avoid fighting too.
"Who
spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger
and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good." (3:134)
11. Be
kind in your speech:
If your
speech reflect kindness, then you are really a kind person for a rude one could
never speak kindly.
"Kind
speech and forgiveness are better than charity followed by injury. And Allah is
Free of need and Forbearing." (2:263)
12. Honor
each other:
If you
know how to respect and admire a person, then you know how to deal with them
too. Admire when someone has done something good and respect when someone has
done something best and honor when someone has done something great. If you are
accustomed to this habit, then you are a kind person indeed.
“The
Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Do not
be envious of one another; do not artificially raise prices against one
another; do not hate one another; do not turn one’s back on each other; and do
not undercut one another in business transactions. And be, [O] servants of
Allah, bretheren. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him. He
does not fail him [when he needs him]. He does not lie to him. And he does not
show contempt for him. Piety is here” – and he pointed to his chest three
times. “It is enough of evil for a person to hold his brother Muslim in
contempt. All of a Muslim is inviolable to another Muslim: his blood, his
wealth and his honor.” (Muslim)
13. Be
true with your promise:
What
people mostly see on you is your honesty and loyalty towards others. So be
truthful. If you are truthful, then you can keep your promises. Nowadays,
people are heedless about their promises. They often forget and some don't even
apologise for forgetting. If you really concern about others in the same way
you concern yourself, then you will be true with your promises. This sort of a
feeling would emerge only if you are possessing the attribute of kindness.
"Keep
your promise; you will be questioned about it." (17:34)
14.
Be courteous:
You are
so careful when communicating with people. You don't want to hurt others and
you don't want to let them feel inconvenience. You always respect their issues.
This means you have already attained the attribute of kindness.
"When
a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more
courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy. Allah takes careful account of all
things." (4:86)
15. Be
charitable:
You reach
to help those who are in need. You are trying to make sure whether their needs
are met. You actively participate in charity and put your best efforts to help
them. If you are really so eager in this way, then you are a kind person with
tender feelings.
"Those
who spend [in Allah's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and
in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun
(the gooddoers)." (3:134)
Reflect
upon...
Now
reflect upon the facts mentioned above and see how Islam has emphasised about
kindness. Kindness isn't limited only for mankind, it should be shown to other
creatures as well. Allah shower His kindness to the people those who are kind
to His creations.
"Those
who are kind and considerate to Allah's creatures, Allah bestows His kindness
and affection on them. Show kindness to the creatures on the earth so that
Allah may be kind to you." (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)
